Careful What You Wish For

Here's a tip.

If you ever discover a genie, and by genie I mean the living in a bottle, riding a flying carpet, 3 wish granting with flowing robes kind of genie, get to know them first. Establish some kind of relationship before diving headlong into the whole "I grant you 3 wishes" portion of the friendship. I didn't and it has caused me no end of anguish.

My genie popped out of the bottle looking a little dogged-eared. Some would call him rustic...frankly he is just old. Ex-hunting hound lying around kind of old. And unpredictable. His first words were "It smells like cabbage". This should have tipped me, but it didn't. I was too greedy to get on with the wishes. My first wish was for a million dollars. Genie granted me a million Monopoly ones. Takes me the better part of 2 days to get through a game. "Boardwalk with a hotel is how much?! 1, 2, 3, etc.".

My second wish, seeing as the insta-rich option was gone, was for fame. I rationalized that I could parlay the fame into money. "I wish I was the most famous person in the world". To me it seemed obvious. To a genie that transformed me into a spitting image of Osama Bin Laden, it was not. Let me tell you, since the face lift it's been an absolute BITCH to make it through airport security in under 5 hours.

So now I'm sitting on an oh-fer-two and I thought long and hard then unleashed this airtight, masterstroke wish onto my unsuspecting granter. "I wish that whenever I make a wish it will come true". After I convinced my genie that he was not a Cocker Spaniel, he said he would have to return to the Genie High Council to get a ruling. I have been waiting for his return for some time.

Perhaps he has found a new soul to torture. Maybe he's cut a duet with Elton John. Maybe he's locked himself inside a ketchup bottle. I don't really care. I hope he never comes back. So to sum up, I will re-state. Get to know someone first and be careful what you wish for. It just might come true.

As always, you're welcome.